My Heart is Home: Hidden Creek Series #2 Page 22

  He nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful. “It’s going to take a bit to sink in. Our first grandchild. I hate that we missed three years of her life, but we’ll just have to make the most of what we’ve been given. It’s terrible about her grandmother’s cancer.”

  “Yeah, it’s going to be hard. We’re hoping Lily adjusts to JP enough to be comfortable with him when Adalyn can’t handle her on her own.”

  Camilla motioned Hank over. “Come look, dear. She’s a treasure, and she does indeed look almost exactly like Janna at that age.”

  Hank patted my knee and went to join the others. A smile lit his face as he became transfixed by the photos of his granddaughter.

  Janna approached me again, her dark eyes apologetic. “I’m so sorry for jumping to conclusions earlier,” she said, plopping down onto the couch with a sigh. “Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part, but I was so sure the big news was an engagement.”

  “Don’t worry about it. JP warned me you all would probably assume he’d proposed.”

  “I’m still holding out hope for that,” she said with a grin. I didn’t respond and then she said, more pensively, “It seems really weird to think of Jed as a father.”

  I chuckled quietly. “That’ll change when you see him with Lily. He’s a natural, and he’s totally in love with her.”

  “I’m excited about being an aunt. I hope I’m a cool one. And I want to babysit. I know Crawford is kinda far away for that, but maybe I can spend more time in Mountain View.”

  “Not if you’re spending all your time working on the new house,” I said. “How’s it coming along, by the way?”

  “Oh my word, it looks rough right now because we have crews in adding bathrooms and knocking out walls downstairs, but it’s going to be fantastic.”

  “Have you decided which direction to go with it?”

  “The board is leaning toward opening at least a few rooms to trafficking victims. We just need to get up to speed on the kinds of support they need. I’m going to a conference in a few weeks. It’s being put on by several non-profits who are already serving in that way. From the research I’ve already done, I know it can be a really challenging undertaking because there’s so much trauma. Having a place to stay long-term can be really crucial to getting them restored, and there’s a huge lack of that kind of housing. I’m really hoping we can help fill that need.”

  I could tell she was already invested in the potential project, and I was confident she’d be able to convince the board to make it official. But I couldn’t resist a little teasing.

  I raised my brows playfully. “Does that mean Mr. FBI has been around more?”

  Her cheeks turned pink and she glanced over to make sure the others weren’t listening. “He helped almost every day for a week, but now he’s gone. Luke said he’ll be unavailable for at least a few weeks. He was really vague when he told us that, so I figure that means Beckett’s on an assignment.”

  “Do you miss him?”

  “No,” she said quickly, followed a moment later by a shrug. “I mean, I don’t know. Maybe. But it’s not like I ever talked to him much or anything, so it’s not really a big deal.”

  I nudged her shoulder with mine. “He was fun to watch though, huh?”

  She gave up pretending indifference and let out a dreamy sigh. “So fun. I got caught staring more than once. He probably thinks I’m so weird.”

  “Do you think his assignment is dangerous?”

  Her brows dipped into a frown. “If it has to do with trafficking, like I suspect, then I can almost guarantee it.” She folded her arms, her shoulders hunching. “Okay, to be honest, Myla, I’m worried sick about him. I was getting used to him being around, and then he was just….gone. I’m afraid he’s undercover, and I can’t even stand to think about it. Except I do. I think about him all the time. Which is crazy because even though I’ve been in lots of meetings with him, I’ve never held an actual conversation with him. Just the normal ‘hey, how’s it going’ stuff. But I miss him. I can’t believe how much I miss him.”

  I gave her an impulsive hug, sad to see her so distressed. “I’ll pray for him,” I promised.

  She sighed. “Thanks. I have a feeling he needs it, wherever he is. And I’ll pray for you guys. And for Lily. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “Maybe next weekend. We’re hoping she and Adalyn can come and see JP’s place and meet everyone.”

  “The sooner the better. Little Lily has missed out on her Aunt Janna for long enough.” She grinned. “I love that she looks like me. It’s the ultimate revenge for all the pranks Jed pulled on me when we were kids.”

  I chuckled. “She’s a lucky girl.”

  Camilla stood and suggested we go to the kitchen for the dessert she’d made in anticipation of our visit. We ate coconut cream pie and talked for another hour. By then, the other three knew as much as we did about Lily and Adalyn, and they were just as apprehensive about how Haley might handle things when she found out her mother was terminally ill.

  As with many things in life, only time would tell.

  ***

  I went inside for a while when we got back to JP’s place. We’d already had coffee and dessert, so he just got us each a glass of water and then we turned on a movie and snuggled up together on the couch.

  JP was really quiet and I suspected he was all talked out. Telling his parents about Lily had no doubt made things seem even more real and daunting, especially when they’d asked questions such as when he was going to get his spare bedroom ready for her, and how was he going to explain to Lily that he was her daddy.

  I didn’t force him into another conversation. I was content to curl up next to him, my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His arm was warm across my back, his hand rubbing up and down every so often, as if he wanted to make sure I knew he was still with me, even though he was mostly silent.

  I was pretty sure neither of us were paying much attention to the movie, but it gave us an excuse to sit there together, even if we were caught up in our thoughts.

  Distracted as I was by the situation, being pressed up against JP eventually resulted in me becoming more and more aware of him physically, and that awareness soon took precedence over any other thoughts swirling around in my head.

  I ran my hand slowly from his wrist to his shoulder, then back down, enjoying the contours of hard muscle beneath the cotton of his shirt. He shifted slightly on the couch and as I turned farther toward him he slid his hands beneath my rear and lifted me easily onto his lap. I was now straddling him, our faces close together.

  When he raised his hands to try to cup my face I grabbed his wrists and held them down by his sides, smiling when his eyes went heavy-lidded and dropped to my mouth. I made him wait and instead leaned forward and pressed my lips to the underside of his jaw, moving slowly down his neck to the curve of his shoulder. I liked that spot so I nibbled at it, tasting his skin.

  His arms moved restlessly but he didn’t try to break my hold on his wrists, which of course he could have easily done. I took that as a sign that he wasn’t totally opposed to me seizing a little control and I moved up to nip at his ear lobe before switching to the other side of his neck.

  A low growl rumbled through his chest and I raised my head and grinned at him. “This is much better than the movie,” I said softly.

  He slowly twisted his wrists out of my grasp and settled his big hands on my waist, his blue eyes glittering as our gazes held. “Much better,” he muttered.

  I splayed my hands across his chest, loving the feel of him. Needing it. I slid them up and into his hair. His eyes dropped to my mouth again and I ever so slowly pulled his head down until our lips met. Softly, gently brushing. He went along with that for a few seconds, then without warning he swiveled to the side and lowered me onto the couch, coming down over me. I locked my arms around his neck as he took the kiss deep and pretty soon I was on fire. Nothing existed except him. JP. The man I loved with my entire being. />
  “Myla,” he groaned, breaking the kiss and dropping his forehead against mine. “If we don’t stop I’m going to try to talk you into something we shouldn’t do.”

  I exhaled slowly, knowing he was right but wishing we could do the things we shouldn’t. I wondered how long the situation with Lily was going to delay things for us. Before her, I’d thought a proposal might happen fairly soon. Now I just didn’t know.

  He kissed me lightly, then pushed up to a sitting position before pulling me up beside him, his hand warm on my neck as he looked at me earnestly.

  “I know all this with Lily has changed some things, Myla. We have another person to think about now. But there’s still the you and me part.” His lips curved up and he leaned down to kiss me again. “And I love that part. I love you. Nothing can change that.”

  I hoped he was right. Prayed he was right. But…Haley.

  “I love you, too,” I said, leaving it at that for now.

  He seemed to sense my unease. His eyes softened and he stroked a finger down my cheek. “Trust me, babe, it’s all going to work out.” He raised a brow. “We’re going to be incredible together, Myla. I promise you that.”

  He was speaking directly to my heart and I wanted his words to be true more than I’d ever wanted anything. And because I cared so much, I had to level with him.

  “I want to believe you, JP, but I’m really worried about Haley. She’s beyond our control and I’m terrified that she’s going to come back and we won’t be able to get rid of her.”

  He turned to face me, his arm along the back of the couch. “I won’t pretend I’m not worried, but as far as custody goes—honestly I can’t imagine any judge will think she’d be a better parent than me. Especially since her own mother chose me.”

  I swallowed hard and put my hand on his leg, caressing it lightly. “But what if she’s desperate enough to do whatever it takes? Money motivated her before. If she stayed clean for a hundred-fifty thousand, don’t you think she can do it again when a couple million is at stake?”

  “No,” he said decisively. “I mean, I think she’ll probably try. I think she’ll manage to clean up and present a reformed front to the judge, hoping she can fool him. But it won’t last. With Adalyn she knew for certain she’d get the money, and it was a finite amount of time. She could cross off the days. But if we go to court, it could be a long, drawn-out affair with no guarantee she’ll get her payday. That’s going to be her downfall and she’ll slip up.”

  “But what if she does keep it up, at least for long enough to convince the judge she’s changed?”

  JP shook his head. “With her history, how could a judge take that chance?”

  I swallowed hard and decided to go ahead and raise my other concern. “I agree that the chance of her gaining sole custody is slim, but she might settle for less, even if it’s only visitation rights for now. Because that would keep her foot in the door and mess with you and your plans. You rejected her, and I doubt she’s forgiven you for that. If she still has a vendetta against you, she’ll enjoy being a thorn in your side.”

  His eyes narrowed as he considered that. “Maybe you’re right. I hope not, but we can’t rule it out. All I can say is I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t happen. I don’t want Haley screwing up Lily’s life. She’s a little girl, not a pawn.”

  I nodded slowly. “There’s another possibility.”

  He tilted his head warily. “I’m afraid to ask.”

  I drew my knees up and hugged them to my chest, thinking I’d much rather go back to kissing him. I’d started this conversation, though, so I had to finish it.

  “I know this is a real long shot, but what if Haley takes one look at Lily and all of her latent maternal instincts just burst forth and she decides to do whatever she has to to be the mother Lily deserves? And what if she would actually stick to it? If she would sober up and develop the potential to be a positive influence on Lily, then what would you do?”

  JP cleared his throat and sat back so he was slumped against the couch, his hands crossed over his stomach. “First, let me say that I don’t see that happening. If there were any maternal instincts present, even latent ones, I have to believe Haley would have had an irresistible urge to see her daughter. Maybe not to be an ongoing part of her life, but to at least see her once in a while. Go over for dinner or something.”

  “Yeah, I agree the chances are slim to none,” I said, “but I still think it’s something to consider.”

  He grimaced. “Okay, if she were to do a complete about-face, then I guess I have to hope I’d be strong enough to do whatever’s best for Lily, even if it’s not what’s best for me. And if I know one thing for sure, it’s that having Haley Knight in my life will never be what’s best for me.” His head was against the leather of the couch and he turned it to the side and gave me a wry smile. “Is that the right answer?”

  I ran the backs of my fingers down the side of his face. “It’s the one I knew you’d give because you love your daughter.” I smiled. “And yes, it’s the right answer. What isn’t so right is me hoping Haley truly doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body so we don’t have to deal with her being in Lily’s life at all. Which I’m well aware is selfish, but it’s also honest.”

  “I want you to always be honest with me,” JP said quietly.

  “Ditto. It’s the only way this works.”

  “Mmm hmm. And this is going to work.” He turned his body back toward me, his expression somber. “Haley or no Haley, I can’t lose you again. I believe the good Lord brought you back to me because He wants us to be together, and the way I figure it, He wouldn’t have bothered doing that if having Lily in the picture was going to screw it up.” He smiled hopefully. “Think my logic’s sound?”

  I grinned. “The soundest.”

  He took my hand and wove his fingers through mine. “I love you, Myla. Stick with me, okay? I know it could be a bumpy ride for a while, and I also know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m shamelessly asking anyway.”

  I wiggled closer to him, my heart feeling lighter now that I’d shared my fears. “You want me to jump the bumps with you, Jedidiah Patterson?” I asked with a smile.

  His eyes glittered in the dim light from the TV and the long-forgotten movie. “Yes, ma’am, I do.”

  “Then you’re in luck. It just so happens I’m a darn good bump-jumper.”

  He chuckled. “Oh yeah? Do they teach that in the army?”

  I started to say no, then thought about it and changed my mind. “In a way they do. Soldiers have to be able to adapt to the unexpected, so we definitely have to navigate some bumps.”

  “Gotcha. Well, I, for one, appreciate your adaptability more than I can say.”

  “Good, because you’re pretty much stuck with me.” I took his hand, pressing the back of it to my cheek. I wasn’t teasing anymore. “I tried to stop loving you for four years, JP, and it didn’t happen. I don’t have another four years of trying in me.”

  “Glad to hear it,” he murmured, turning his hand to tilt my face up. “I like it this way a lot better.”

  I smiled. “Me too. Way better. So what do you say we agree to stay together no matter what?”

  His own smile was slow and sweet and sexy and it made my breath catch. “Yes. Let’s,” he said softly.

  Of course we sealed our agreement with a kiss. Or two or three.

  Chapter 25

  B

  efore I left, JP asked if I wanted to go to Garnett with him the next day. I considered it, but he’d already told me Adalyn was planning to go over to a friend’s house to give him one-on-one time with Lily, and I decided that time was important. Especially since he was going to talk to her about being her daddy. Even though we weren’t sure how much she’d understand, I felt like the discussion should be just between the two of them.

  JP was fine with that decision, but he told me he wanted me to get to know Lily right along with him as things progressed. I assured him that was
what I wanted too, it’s just that this one time I thought Lily should have his undivided attention.

  “I’ll miss you, though,” I added as I opened the door to leave. “Give Lily a hug for me.”

  “I will. Want me to pick you up for church on Sunday?”

  I hated for him to miss his own church service, but I was selfish enough to jump at his offer. “I’d love that. So will Aunt Donna.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you then.”

  One more quick kiss and then I reluctantly left.

  Back home, I went upstairs and got ready for bed, then spent a long time on my knees telling God about my hopes and fears, thanking Him yet again for giving me another chance with JP and asking for the strength to get through the next year. I wanted to be the loving support JP and Lily would need, while still being able to focus on my new career. I knew I’d need all the help I could get with all of it.

  When I finally got into bed and warmed up under the covers, I couldn’t help but think how different my life was now than it had been two months ago, when I was still in the army. Some soldiers resent the regimented life of the military, but I’d actually appreciated that aspect. I liked knowing exactly what was expected of me and what came next.

  I knew neither of those things right now, and it left me feeling a little adrift. I could only hope I was up to the challenge of whatever was in store for me, whenever it happened.

  ***

  The week passed quickly. Back on Sunday evening I’d had only one day scheduled at the school, but as the flu continued to make its rounds, I ended up teaching every day but Wednesday. On Friday I rushed out of the building as soon as the bell rang, because this time I was going along to Garnett with JP. We were going to have dinner with Adalyn and Lily, spend the night at their house, then all drive to Mountain View together the next morning. We’d go to JP’s house first and stay until late afternoon, then go to his parents’ for dinner. Jude, Ava, and Janna would be there as well.