See Me, Cover Me: Full Heart Ranch Series #4 Page 24

  He nodded. “It’s what I want, and what we need to do, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.”

  “We’ll get through it,” she said confidently. They would, too, because they couldn’t take the next step until they dealt with this piece. “Then the next night is our date,” she reminded him. “That gives us something to look forward to.”

  “Always the optimist,” he said with a half-smile.

  “One of my better qualities,” she told him. “What time tomorrow?”

  “Luther will rent a car at the airport and get here around six. I’ll probably go over to Tuck’s and meet him when he gets in, but you can wait and come at seven.”

  “I’ll be there,” she promised. “Try not to dwell on it, Tanner. Worrying about it isn’t going to help either one of us, and it won’t change the outcome.”

  “So I need to go for the ‘peace that transcends all understanding?’” he asked, quoting the verse from that morning.

  “Exactly.” She splayed her hands on his chest, loving the newfound freedom to touch him. “I know I need to let you go back to your place, but I don’t want to. It’s like every second with you is so precious.”

  He opened his mouth and she knew he was going to warn her yet again. She quickly slapped her hand over his mouth.

  “No,” she said sternly. “I’ve already heard it a hundred times.”

  His eyes crinkled at the corners and she felt him smile beneath her hand. She cautiously lessened the pressure enough for him to talk, ready to stifle him again if necessary.

  “You’ve had a hundred people tell you you’ve got the most beautiful eyes they’ve ever seen?”

  She glared. “That’s not what you were going to say.”

  He grabbed her hand away and held it wrapped in his at the small of her back. “It’s true, though.”

  Her knees went weak once again. “You’re sweet.”

  He winced. “Don’t tell Ryan and Tuck.”

  Izzy raised her free hand to his face, running her fingertips across an eyebrow and down his cheek to his square, stubbled jaw. “I’m going to kiss you goodnight, then you need to go. I’m kind of on Tanner overload right now, and not thinking as clearly as I should be.”

  He grinned and Izzy’s heart lurched. The man was irresistible.

  “Make it a good one, Izzy-B, it’s gotta last until after tomorrow’s meeting. Assuming you’ll still want to kiss me then.” He urged her closer with pressure from their linked hands, and she wound her free arm around his neck, pulling his head down to hers.

  “I’ll still want to,” she whispered. “I don’t think I could ever get enough.”

  She did as he asked—she made it good. Then shooed him out before she gave in to the temptation to make it good all over again.

  ***

  Izzy: Good morning.

  BFF: Morning. Sleep well?

  Izzy: Yeah, once I calmed down. ;)

  BFF: Ditto. What do you have for me?

  Izzy: It’s another good one. One I think you can use.

  BFF: Hit me.

  Izzy: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

  BFF: I like that one. Thanks.

  Izzy: Don’t forget to pray again. Maybe twice today?

  BFF: I’ll try.

  Izzy: Have a good day. Let me know if you have any tips for making Agent Luther approve of me.

  BFF: Just be yourself. It doesn’t get any better than that.

  Izzy: Careful. That sweet side is showing again.

  BFF: See you tonight.

  ***

  Andi called to see if she wanted to meet for lunch, but Izzy had to turn her down. “I’ve got so much on my mind, Andi, I’d be terrible company. It’s all I can do to concentrate on work today.”

  “Does it have to do with a certain man?”

  “Of course it does,” Izzy groaned. “But I’m okay. Really.”

  “So why are you so worked up?”

  Izzy wasn’t sure how to answer. It was hard not sharing everything with her best friend, but Tanner’s work life and everything related to it was strictly off limits. She wouldn’t test the boundaries, not even if no one would ever find out. She was going to ask for Agent Luther’s trust, and she would do it knowing she deserved it.

  “We’re kind of at a turning point,” she said finally. “Things are moving kind of quickly, and I’m just worried we won’t have enough time to figure things out before he has to leave.”

  “That worries me, too,” Andi said. “I think you could work with the distance thing, as long as you have enough time to get a good base to start with.”

  “Yeah. I’m afraid we’ll just be getting to a good place, and then he’ll leave and it will eventually fizzle out.”

  “We need to talk about this some more,” Andi declared. “I’ll let you out of lunch, since we’re going for a bike ride tomorrow morning. Don’t even think of trying to get out of that.”

  Izzy smiled. “I won’t. You’re the best, Andi.”

  “See you then. We’ll see how many miles this pregnant gal can handle.”

  ***

  Next it was Libby. She stopped by between the morning sessions and pulled Izzy to a quiet corner of the PT room.

  “Ryan told me Agent Luther is coming in this evening to talk to you and Tanner,” she said. “I just want you to know I’m praying for you guys.”

  Izzy looked at her curiously. “Do you know why he’s coming? What he wants to talk about?”

  Libby shook her head. “Ryan didn’t say in so many words, but I’m guessing it has something to do with whatever is building between you and Tanner.”

  “Good guess.”

  “Ryan’s a little worked up about it. He cares about Tanner a lot and wants him to be happy. They have a bond, I guess you could say.”

  “I know.” Izzy sighed. “Tanner didn’t give me any details, but he did tell me Ryan saved his life once.”

  “Yeah.” Libby’s blue-green eyes softened. “I know a bit about that simply because Ryan and I were right at the beginning of our relationship when it happened. Unfortunately, that’s the extent of my knowledge about Tanner James. I’m sure you’ll know much more after tonight.”

  Izzy rubbed her temples, feeling a stress headache building. “I wish I was that confident. I have no idea how Agent Luther feels about this. I actually can’t blame him if he has a hard time believing we’re serious enough to warrant me being trusted with sensitive stuff about Tanner. I know it’s happened really fast. If I wasn’t one of the ones involved, I’d be questioning it, too.”

  Libby waved a hand. “No reason to waste time when you know it’s right, and I believe you do know that.”

  Izzy agreed. “It does feel right, but so much hinges on tonight. Tanner doesn’t want me to make any big decisions about the future without knowing the whole story.”

  Libby smiled warmly. “He’s a good guy, huh?”

  “Oh man, he’s incredible.” Izzy flashed back suddenly to how the previous evening had ended, and she hoped Libby didn’t notice her blush. She quickly got back on topic. “So, obviously I’m hoping Luther will level with me, but Tanner seems to think I’m going to run the other way once I hear it.”

  Libby winced. “How do you feel about that?”

  “I admit it scares me. It makes me wonder if he’s an assassin or something, only I don’t think the FBI uses those. At least, not officially.” To be honest, she couldn’t see Tanner in that role, even unofficially. She’d seen too much of his softer side to believe he could do something like that and not be completely messed up.

  Libby chuckled. “I do know that’s definitely not the case, if that makes you feel any better.”

  “Whew. I’ll scratch that off my worry list,” Izzy said dryly.

  “Just try to have an open mind,” Libby said, compassion in her eyes. “Don’t stop with knowing what he does, also listen to why he does it. It’s not easy being with a man wh
o wants to save the world, but it is worth it.” She squeezed Izzy’s arm. “I realize Tanner’s job is different from Ryan’s, and there are more challenges for you two. I just can’t help feeling you could be really good together. I hope you don’t walk away from something that could be truly great if you fight for it. I’m afraid you’d regret it in the long run.”

  “I’m willing to fight,” Izzy said emphatically, “and I’m pretty sure there’s nothing Agent Luther can tell me that will change my mind about that. What I need you to pray for is that Tanner will give me that opportunity. He’s afraid of me getting hurt, and he seems so sure I won’t be able to accept what he does. That I’ll think less of him for doing it. To be honest, I think there’s a good chance he might just disappear, thinking it’s for my own good. Especially if Agent Luther won’t let him level with me.”

  Libby nodded. “Then I’ll pray he has the courage to stay and let you prove you can handle it.” She hugged the other woman tightly. “I need to get back to my office. Love you, Iz. You be strong, okay?”

  Izzy nodded. “I’ll be strong,” she promised. “Thanks, Libby.”

  ***

  Finally, it was Maddy’s turn to show up and offer support. She poked her head into Izzy’s office just before five, after everyone else had left.

  “Hey, Iz. You doing okay?”

  Izzy looked up and smiled. “I am. Are you here to assure me everything’s going to be fine?”

  “Well, to tell you I’m optimistic about it, at least. And to tell you not to be too nervous.”

  “I’m actually less nervous now than I was earlier. I just want to get on with it, you know?”

  Maddy took a chair across the desk. “That’s good. I wanted to stop by to see whether you needed to talk about anything beforehand.” She gave a rueful smile. “I don’t know much myself, just that Agent Luther wants to talk to you about Tanner.”

  Izzy laid her pencil on the desk. “Do you think it’s good or bad that he’s coming to meet me face to face?”

  “I actually think it’s a good thing, because there’s no doubt you’ll make a good impression.” Maddy bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Him taking the time to come here also shows how important Tanner is to the bureau, don’t you think? I don’t know much about your guy, but he obviously has a really important, top secret job.”

  Izzy sighed and sat back in her chair, gripping her upper arms protectively. “It has to go well, Maddy. I know Tanner well enough to know he won’t compromise his mission. If Luther doesn’t give him permission to tell me his secrets, he won’t.”

  “I get the feeling there’s a lot at stake,” Maddy said gently.

  “There is. Tanner probably won’t move forward with me if Agent Luther doesn’t approve of it. He feels it would be unfair to expect me to be with him and not know who he really is. As far as I’m concerned, though, I don’t think my being kept in the dark means we have to end things. I might not know what his job is, but I believe I already know him.”

  Maddy gave a slow, empathetic nod. “I’m going to tell you what I’ve learned through my journey with Tuck, Izzy. I know you need to get going, so I’ll make it short.”

  Izzy smiled. “Am I about to hear Maddy Simon’s crib notes on being in love with an FBI agent?”

  “That’s a pretty appropriate description, actually. If I can make it easier for you through my own experience, I will gladly share my notes.”

  “And I’ll gladly listen,” Izzy assured her.

  Maddy sat forward, her blue gaze earnest. “The thing about being the good guys is they have to get inside the heads of the bad guys. In order to stop evil, they have to know that evil. They feel tainted by association, and it can sometimes be hard to separate themselves from what they do. I almost lost Tuck because of that very thing. He was afraid his world would hurt me again. He blamed himself for what happened to me, because the man who abducted me did it to take revenge on Tuck.” Maddy’s eyes filled. “I managed to convince him I was capable of making my own decision about being with him or not, but it was touch and go there for a while. I didn’t think he was going to let me be in his life.”

  “That’s my fear exactly,” Izzy said sadly. “I feel so much for him, but we only met a couple weeks ago and he doesn’t trust it’ll last once we’re separated.”

  “Trust is the key,” Maddy agreed. “Tanner needs to know you’ll trust him to make the right decisions in his professional life, even if you don’t know what they are.”

  “But that’s the problem,” Izzy said, throwing up her hands in frustration. “Only time is going to convince him of that trust, and I don’t think we’re going to get it.”

  “I know.” Maddy blew out a breath. “I can’t help you with that.”

  Izzy reached across the desk and patted her friend’s hand. “Just knowing you care helps, Maddy. Libby came by earlier, too. She told me to be strong, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

  “It comes naturally to you,” Maddy said proudly. “You’re a great match for Tanner, let’s hope he recognizes that. It’s definitely too soon to give up.”

  “Keep on praying,” Izzy begged.

  “Always. Praying is my thing.”

  That made Izzy smile. “Would you believe I’ve got Tanner praying? He’s only doing it because I asked him to, not because he thinks it’ll make a difference. But I believe it might help open him up to God’s voice, and I want that for him so much. It’s way more important than our future together, and I need to remember that. I don’t want to make this all about me and my feelings.”

  “If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, Iz. I can’t guarantee smooth and easy, but it will work.”

  Maddy stood and Izzy came around the desk to hug her. “You’re my inspiration, Maddy. Thanks for taking time for me.”

  “My pleasure. It doesn’t seem like that long ago I was fighting for my own chance with Tuck.”

  “One more question,” Izzy said as she shut off the lights and they left the office. “What does a person wear to impress a Special Agent in Charge who holds her future in his hands?”

  Maddy chuckled. “I’d go with good old biz-casual.”

  “Done.”

  They said their goodbyes and Izzy hurried out to her golf cart. Back at her cabin, she showered, washed and dried her hair, and took the time to flat iron it completely straight. She chose a pair of tailored black slacks, a pale blue blouse, and black ballet flats instead of heels. Light make-up and pink lip gloss completed the look. She stood in front of the mirror, giving herself a long, critical look. With the dressed up clothes and straightened hair, she wasn’t sure Tanner would recognize her. All that really mattered, though, was whether she made a good impression on his boss.

  A few minutes before she was ready to leave, Tanner sent her a text and told her he was on his way to pick her up. She waited nervously, wondering why he was coming for her instead of having her drive over, as planned. She hoped he didn’t already have bad news.

  He soon pulled up in one of the retreat center cars that could be signed out by staff. Izzy hurried to the door and pulled it open as he came up the porch steps, searching his eyes to see whether he seemed upset.

  He stopped short when he saw her, his eyes widening slightly before sweeping down her body. His lips curved into an appreciative smile.

  “Hi, I’m Tanner James. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

  Relieved that he was joking, Izzy relaxed a tiny bit. “Don’t tease, Tanner. I’m going for mature, serious, and trust-worthy.”

  He chuckled. “You don’t think curly hair and jeans convey that?” Approaching her, he reached out and ran a hand slowly down the length of her sleek hair. “You look amazing, Izzy, but all your good qualities will shine through regardless of your hair and clothes.”

  “But you dressed up,” she pointed out, eyeing his charcoal slacks and the tucked in white button-down shirt that emphasized his narrow waist.

  He shrugged. “It’s habit when I have a
meeting with the boss.”

  “Then I’m glad I’m not in jeans. Is everything going okay so far?”

  “It’s fine. Luther is impressed with the ranch and wants a tour later. “He cocked his head to the side, his eyes narrowed as they studied her face. “Now that I think about it, I’m seeing one problem here.”

  Izzy looked up at him anxiously. “I can change. Shall I go with a dress?”

  He shook his head, reaching up to frame her face with his big hands. “The problem is, sweetheart, you’re gonna need some more lipstick.”

  She recognized the predatory look in his dark eyes and she sucked in a breath, her stomach doing a slow roll of anticipation. “I have plenty more,” she assured him, her voice a little wobbly.

  He dipped his head slightly. “I missed you today,” he said softly.

  “I missed you, too.”

  “I came to pick you up because I couldn’t wait any longer to see whether kissing you is as good as I remember it.”

  “Oh.” She swallowed, her gaze going to his mouth. “What if it’s not?” she breathed.

  “What if it is?” he murmured just before lowering his mouth to hers, his lips firm but gentle, brushing and caressing, just the very tip of his tongue finding hers. It wasn’t a kiss designed to incite full-blown passion. Rather it was a kiss to be enjoyed for what it was, an intimate expression of their growing feelings and mutual attraction. Soft, unhurried, sensual. Learning the taste and feel of the other, realizing their lips fit as perfectly together as their personalities.

  It went on and on, until Izzy finally pulled away, forcing her eyes open, knowing she looked as dazed as she felt. “Holy cow, Tanner, you’re like a drug. I think I’m addicted already.”

  She didn’t expect the flash of pain that crossed his eyes. “You shouldn’t be,” he said raggedly. “None of this is fair to you.”

  She ran her fingertips slowly along his jaw. “I don’t know about fair, but I believe this is bigger than both of us. Whether you agree with me or not, I truly do believe it’s a God thing. And you know what? I’m not even nervous about tonight anymore.”

  He gave her a skeptical look, but she just patted his cheek and turned to go back in the house for her purse. “I’m really not,” she said over her shoulder. “If God wants us together, Agent Luther can’t pull us apart, regardless of what he decides tonight.”