Help Me, Hold Me Read online

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  CHAPTER 37

  CHAPTER 38

  CHAPTER 39

  CHAPTER 40

  EPILOGUE

  Help Me, Hold Me

  Full Heart Ranch Series #5

  By: Barbara Gee

  Copyright ©2017 by Barbara S. Gunden

  All rights Reserved

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of Barbara Gunden, except for the use of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Help Me, Hold Me

  Prologue

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  CHAPTER 37

  CHAPTER 38

  CHAPTER 39

  CHAPTER 40

  EPILOGUE

  Prologue

  Nineteen years before…..

  Two years of hindsight had made one thing clear to Elliot Tate. Glaringly clear, although it pained him to admit it. Pained him to know he’d made a mistake so spectacular it could ruin everything.

  He’d spent the two years since that fateful day trying to convince himself it wasn’t so bad, trying to believe there was no way his moment of weakness would come back to haunt him.

  And maybe it wouldn’t—they were at the two year mark after all, and still safe. But it remained a loose end that wasn’t going to go away, and with the stakes getting higher, it was past time for Elliot to face the truth.

  That truth was simple. He should have stuck to the original plan, the one he and Craig had laid out so carefully. He should have followed it through, finished the kid off, and been done with the whole thing. Protecting his inheritance at all costs—that’s what he should have been focused on. Instead, he’d gotten caught up in a feel-good moment that had caused him to temporarily lose sight of the long-term goal.

  Next thing he knew, he’d made a stupid, impulsive decision, and it had been too late to go back and change it.

  There was no denying the original plan would have been tough to carry out, because in spite of himself, he’d grown kind of fond of the kid. He could’ve pushed through that, though, if he’d put his mind to it. He could’ve shoved her overboard and not watched her fall. Not looked down to see her fighting to keep her head above the water, looking up at him with those big green eyes, wondering why he wasn’t trying to save her.

  It wouldn’t have taken long. The waves kicked up by the storm had been nice and big, and she was so tiny.

  Instead he’d gone soft and changed it up at the last minute, allowing his lover to take the little girl and run. He’d even given her a bunch of money to get out of town, and then paid for an “authentic” birth certificate and social security number for the girl, so no one would ever know her true identity.

  Yes, in the end he’d not only let them go, he’d paid a lot of money to screw himself over. What in the world had he been thinking? Had his brain totally shut down that day?

  As always, reliving it caused Elliot’s stomach to roll and burn. Of all the bad decisions he’d made in his now twenty-four years of life, that one ranked right up there at the top. It was incredibly humiliating to remember how weak and gullible he’d been, but it wasn't like he could forget it. Craig O’Riley, the only other person who knew what he’d done, brought it up often. He used it as an example of how NOT to accomplish your goals.

  While it always irritated Elliot to be reminded of it, he usually managed to hide his irritation and accept the rebuke. Because as much as Elliot had worried over the fall-out from ill-advised actions, he was pretty sure Craig had worried even more.

  As of today, though, everything had changed, and that knowledge brought a satisfied smile to Elliot’s lips as he stared out his office window, admiring the view of the city block below, much of which his father owned. He couldn’t go back and change the decision he’d made two years ago, but he certainly had the power to change how it would affect the future. All he had to do was find the courage to get rid of the one person who could ruin him.

  And so he had. Three days ago, Elliot had sent Craig to take care of their lingering problem. There was most definitely some risk involved, there always was with this type of thing, but as the stakes got higher, one could argue that the bigger risk was doing nothing at all.

  As expected, Craig had come through yet again. Five minutes ago he’d called to say he was on his way back to New Orleans, and the ex-lover who’d run away with Elliot’s little sister was no longer a threat to their plans.

  Elliot turned away from the window and crossed the room, settling into his plush chair and propping his feet comfortably on the desk. He and Craig would celebrate tonight. They’d find some girls and do it up right, because this had been a long time coming.

  Of course, they still had plenty of things to worry about—plenty more tough decisions to make. That was part of dreaming big. For now, however, it was enough to know his biggest mistake had finally been fixed.

  Elliot exhaled a long, contented sigh.

  The release of his burden felt good. So very good.

  ***

  CHAPTER 1

  Present day……….

  Callie hooked her elbows over the top rail of the fence encircling the riding ring and watched as Molly, head of the equestrian center at the Full Heart Ranch Veterans Retreat Center, rode the new therapy horse toward a staggered line of six white cones.

  “Come on, Tazz,” Callie said under her breath as the medium-sized chestnut brown horse moved through the ring at a brisk walk. She could hear Molly saying encouraging words to the ani
mal, and Callie hoped this would be the time Tazz finally made his way through the cones without balking.

  It didn’t seem like much to ask of him, considering the other therapy horses did exactly that, dozens of times a day. In fact, one of them was just ahead of Tazz now, showing him how it was done. The black horse moved like she was on auto-pilot, weaving in and out of the cones with smooth, consistent turns. That smoothness was necessary, because the disabled veterans who took part in the hippotherapy program here at the center could be easily unseated by unexpected balks or erratic movements.

  The cone line was a simple concept, but also a very important piece of the program. Hippotherapy was all about strengthening the rider’s core, and the cones changed the gait and trajectory of the horse, which worked those core muscles without the rider even being aware of it.

  The horse had to be steady and predictable though, and the new horse, Tazz didn’t get that. He’d been at the ranch for three weeks now, and he still balked every single time he approached the first cone, planting his front feet, tossing his head, and throwing in some heavy snorting for good measure.

  The only thing Molly knew to do was to keep trying, because Tazz was too good of a horse to give up on. Callie had suggested giving him a couple of days away from the cones, hoping he’d forget his aversion to them. They were about to find out if the strategy had worked.

  Callie was hopeful for a moment. Tazz gamely followed the black horse named Evie right up to the first cone—then he swerved and lowered his head at the offending object, snorting fiercely and even giving a little buck.

  “Taaaaaaazz,” Molly groaned, “you’re killing me, big guy.”

  Callie couldn’t help but chuckle. “I can’t tell if he’s afraid of the cone, or wants to play with it,” she called out.

  “I’m not sure either,” Molly replied. “It’s like he has a visceral reaction to it. I can feel his whole body tense up as soon as he gets within a few feet.”

  “Maybe you could try replacing the cones with big blocks of wood or something. He might have a bad history with pointy white objects.”

  “I suppose it’s worth a try. I’ll see if one of the interns can round something up for tomorrow.”

  Callie pushed away from the fence. “Okay, well, I’m going to go start putting away that shipment of vitamin supplements. Holler at me when you guys are done with Tazz and Evie. I’ll get them brushed and fed before I leave for the day.”

  “Sounds good. Give us fifteen minutes and Russ will bring them to their stalls.”

  Callie left the ring and made her way through the stable area in the back of the barn, looking around for her friend Brittany as she went. Brit volunteered at the retreat center every day all through the summer, so Callie was sure she was around somewhere, she just hadn’t spotted her yet that morning.

  Normally that would have been strange, considering Brit’s regular volunteer gig was right there in the stables, but Callie figured she knew the reason for the girl’s current absence. Brit was no doubt out roaming the campus, eagerly watching for the new volunteer who was scheduled to arrive sometime this morning.

  New volunteers at the Full Heart Ranch didn’t usually attract much attention, because people came and went here all the time. It was a popular place and they actually had a lengthy waiting list of hopeful volunteers.

  The one Brit was out looking for, however, wasn’t just any volunteer. Far from it. Today was the day professional hockey player Vince Abbot was supposed to show up, and while Callie wasn’t bold enough to accompany Brit in her stalking of the man, she was excited about him coming.

  She was also having a hard time believing it was true. If Callie would have been asked to hand-pick a “celebrity” volunteer to help the cause of the retreat center, Vince Abbot would have probably been at the top of her list. There were at least three reasons for that—she was a die-hard hockey fan, Vince was her favorite player, and the ranch had an incredible ice rink. He was also, according to Brit, every hockey-loving gal’s idea of a dream man, which explained why the girl was outside right now hoping for a glimpse of him.

  While Callie couldn’t deny the man was incredibly attractive and she was eager to see him, she had no plans to follow him around hoping he’d throw a crumb her way. She didn’t have that kind of time to waste. She’d be content to merely catch a glimpse of him here and there, and maybe attend some of the center’s Friday night hockey tournaments. It would be a huge thrill to see him skate in person. Vince was amazing on the ice, and she knew he’d be popular with the staff and veterans alike.

  If he showed up, and Callie had her doubts. The staff had been told yesterday he would be arriving this morning, but a man like Vince Abbot would have many options for his limited down-time. It was very possible something better had come along and he’d changed his plans at the last minute.

  She tried to tell herself it didn’t matter one way or the other, but of course that was silly. Having Vince Abbot sign up to volunteer at the ranch during his off-season had been huge news. Great for the retreat center. The veterans who came would enjoy working with another hockey pro, and it would boost fund-raising efforts, too. Brittany wouldn’t be the only person disappointed if he was a no-show, that was for sure.

  If Vince followed through on his plans to come, he would be arriving with his teammate, Boone Kendall. Boone’s father owned the Full Heart Ranch, and Boone himself had spent his last three off-seasons volunteering at the retreat center ice rink, while his wife, Jolene, spent her days working with the veterans in the physical therapy department. Jolene had assisted Vince in recovering from an injury the summer before, with part of his rehab taking place right here at the ranch, and supposedly he had decided to return as a volunteer because he wanted to give back to the place that had helped heal him.

  Callie had met Boone several times. He was always friendly and warm, and everyone who knew him thought the world of him. Callie hoped for the same from Vince, but she knew better than to expect too much. Not many professional athletes could live up to Boone’s high standards.

  Still, this was Vince Abbot, the man she loved to watch light up the ice, and as of now he was scheduled to arrive at the ranch at any moment. This ranch, where Callie was right this minute. Unbelievable. In spite of trying to be all hard-nosed and matter-of-fact about it, she was jittery and excited.

  Part of her did kind of want to be out there with Brit, but she refused to let herself be the panting fan-girl. When, or if, she saw him, she’d behave in a mature fashion…..probably. Then she pictured herself actually meeting him, looking up into those blue eyes of his, and she couldn’t stop the slight shiver ran down her spine.

  So much for mature!

  Callie was so caught up in her thoughts of Vince Abbot she almost ran into an intern who was coming down the aisle toward her, carrying a bucket of water. They both mumbled apologies as Callie quickly veered off to the feed room, shaking her head at her ridiculous daydreaming.

  She forced Vince Abbot from her mind and grabbed a knife to slice open the boxes that had been stacked inside the door. Each one was full of large plastic containers of powders and pellets, which she took out and stacked neatly on the shelves.

  Halfway through the last box, she heard a familiar, very excited, voice.

  “Callie, where are you? They’re here! I saw the car myself! They pulled in ten minutes ago.”

  Callie winced at the volume of Brit’s announcement. If anyone working in the stables was wondering if Vince had arrived, they certainly knew now. She stepped out of the room and immediately saw Brit hurrying down the center aisle.

  She put a finger to her lips to shush her, then motioned her over.

  Brit obligingly lowered her voice. “There you are! Why didn’t you text me? Rose and I thought for sure you’d come join us. We were hanging out on those benches by the cafeteria. We had a great view of the gate from there, and saw the car right when it pulled in.”

  “Why didn’t you text me?” Callie ask
ed, handing Brit a container of pellets and pointing at the shelf where she wanted her to put it. “I didn’t know if you were going to show up here in the barn this morning or not.”

  “I did text you, like, six times or more,” Brit said a little huffily. “You were ignoring me.”

  Callie frowned and pulled her phone from her pocket, then gave Brit a sheepish smile. “Oops. Sorry. My case is cracked and the broken part sometimes catches on my silent button. When I’m busy, I don’t notice the sound is off.” She read Brit’s texts quickly, confirming her friend had indeed been begging her to come join them.

  “They drove right past us,” Brit gushed. “The car windows were tinted too dark and we couldn’t see much, but Rose is sure she saw two heads. So Boone definitely brought someone, and since Jolene got here last week, we can only assume it’s Vince.”

  “Where are they now?” Callie wondered, breaking down the boxes the supplements had been packed in and stacking the cardboard in a rack against the wall, to be hauled out later.

  “They pulled up to the admin building. We thought about trying to find an excuse to go over there, but we didn’t want to look desperate, you know?” Brit’s phone chimed and she checked it, then began texting furiously.

  “No, you definitely don’t want to look desperate,” Callie teased, grabbing a bucket of oats before leaving the feed room and heading toward Tazz’s stall.

  Brit followed along behind, still tapping on her phone. “Rose says they’ll probably head to the guest staff cabins to get Vince settled, then she bets they’ll go right to the cafeteria, since it’s almost noon. If we go over there ourselves in about fifteen minutes, we might get to see them.”

  “You can head over any time. I’m going to groom Tazz and Evie, then go on home.”

  “Seriously, Callie? You’re not going to come with me? Come on, you can’t tell me you aren’t dying see your favorite hockey player in the flesh.”

  “I’m sure I’ll see him around at some point,” Callie said, turning a corner and seeing one of Molly’s assistants leading Tazz into his stall at the far end of the aisle. She waved to the young man and he waved back before closing the stall door and going back out toward the riding rings.