Help Me, Hold Me: Full Heart Ranch Series #5 Read online

  Vince rubbed his jaw, his throat tight with emotion. There was no logical reason he should care so much, especially with Callie being so prickly when he’d tried to reach out to her. But he did care. It bothered him to know she was hurting, and he hated that she would barely speak to him.

  “Did she seem glad to see you this evening?” Boone wondered.

  Vince huffed. “Hardly. She couldn’t wait for me to leave.” Not that he’d expected her to jump for joy when she saw him at her door, but he’d hoped his making a real effort to seek her out would soften her up a little bit. Maybe open the door to getting together again.

  “She just didn’t expect you to show up on her doorstep with a pizza,” Jolene said sweetly. “I’m sure she’ll come around, if you have a mind to keep trying.”

  Hiding what he was feeling didn’t even occur to Vince. Jolene and Boone had seen him at his lowest point, and their love and concern had brought him back to who he was. In the process, speaking his feelings to them had become a natural thing.

  “I have to keep trying. She’s all I can think about.”

  Boone laughed. “You just met her this morning. That’s what, twelve whole hours of thinking about her?”

  Vince groaned. “It seems so much longer. I worried all day about how I was going to see her again, and now that I have, I’m more worried about how she’s coping with her grandfather being so ill. I wish I could help her somehow.” He shoved a hand through his hair, frustrated and cranky. “Kay said if I push too hard I’ll scare her away, but I know if I don’t push at all, I’ll never see her again.”

  Jolene put a gentle hand on his arm. “You just met her, Vince. You need to relax, and when it comes to pushing, you need to think hard about what it is you want. I think Callie’s probably more vulnerable to your charms than you think. It would be a shame to pressure her into something only to have you decide a few weeks from now it’s not what you want after all. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

  Vince stood and paced to the window. He understood why they were skeptical. He’d been captivated by girls before, only to lose interest soon after.

  Callie was different. He felt that deep in his soul, but he didn’t know how to explain it to them. It sounded so trite to claim he’d taken one look at her and known she was going to turn his world upside down, but it was the truth.

  He was also pretty sure that if one of them was going to end up with a broken heart, it wouldn’t be Callie.

  “I’ll try,” he said, turning from the window to look at Jolene. “I’ll try to give her some space and let things take their natural course.”

  “You aren’t going to figure out another creative way to see her?” Jolene asked with a teasing smile.

  “I might not have to. Her grandfather wants me to come look at his horses. If that works out, I’m going to go, but I’ll do my best not to come on too strong.”

  “I think that’s a good plan. Let Callie decide what the next step should be,” Jolene said.

  Boone cleared his throat, looking concerned. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but if she’s not into you, Vinny, you might be better off to just accept it and move on. Beating your head against a brick wall isn’t much fun.”

  Vince knew Boone meant well, but he also knew, somehow, that Callie wasn’t as immune to him as she pretended to be. “She feels something,” he stated. “She’s fighting it and I’m not completely sure why, but the spark I’m feeling isn’t one-sided. She avoids looking at me, but when she does, it’s there. I see it, and I feel it. There’s a connection.”

  “Then it’ll all work out,” Jolene said optimistically. “Take the pressure off yourself, and let the Lord take care of it.”

  He gave a frustrated grown. “I know you’re right, but it’s hard to be patient when I’m only going to be here for a couple months. I need enough time with her to see if we could really have something.”

  “Don’t stress about the time frame. Just be yourself and let it happen. Let your true character shine through.” Jolene rose and gave him an encouraging hug. “You’ve become a mature, caring, selfless man, my friend. That’s the kind of thing that speaks to a girl like Callie. And a couple months is long enough for that to happen.”

  “Sleep on it,” Boone suggested. “Who knows. You might wake up tomorrow and wonder what all the fuss is about.”

  “Or I might wake up and still feel she’s one in a million and I can’t let her get away.”

  Jolene chuckled, her dark eyes shining up at him. “I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I’ve never seen you like this. You’re just so cute when you’re all torn up over a girl.”

  He shook his head sadly. “I don’t much care for the feeling, I can tell you that.” He stretched his arms over his head and groaned. “I’m gonna head out. Thanks for the talk, and I’ll see you at the rink tomorrow morning, Boone.”

  “You’ll see me in the PT room first,” Boone said sternly. “Just because I let you skip working out this morning, doesn’t mean it’ll be a regular thing.”

  “See you in the PT room,” Vince amended agreeably.

  Jolene gave him another quick, hard hug, then he went out and got in the car he’d signed out from the retreat center. His mind remained full of Callie during the five minute drive back to his cabin, and when he got into bed a short time later, she was still with him.

  When she’d stood there on the porch and looked up at him with tears in her eyes, protective instincts he hadn’t even known he possessed had instantly kicked in. He wanted to make it better. Easier. He needed to. But how?

  He’s dying. Her whispered words haunted him. He couldn’t take away the cancer, but surely there was something he could do to ease Callie’s burdens. If only she would let him in.

  ***

  “Call that boy and tell him to come on over,” Jeremiah said over lunch the next day. “I’m feeling decent and I’d like to show him the horses while I’ve got the energy.”

  Callie’s head jerked up and she stared at her grandpa as he sipped his tea. “You mean Vince Abbot?”

  “The hockey player, yeah. He’s a good kid and he wants to see the horses. He also said he wants to learn how to ride this summer. I s’pose you might as well teach him.”

  “Me?” Callie squeaked. “Why should I teach him?” She fought the sudden urge to scream. She was trying so hard to keep her distance from Vince—why in the world did Jeremiah feel the need to get him out here and make it that much harder?

  “You’ve given lessons before. You know how to do it.”

  “I’ve taught kids, Grandpa. Not huge men who’ve never sat on a horse before.”

  Jeremiah waved a hand. “He’s an athlete, he’ll pick it right up. Just show him how to mount and get him used to the motion. When you’re pretty sure he won’t fall off, take him out to the fields and turn him loose.”

  Callie shook her head and started carrying dishes over to the sink. “He can learn on the Full Heart. Brit volunteers over there, and she’s already offered to teach him.”

  “I’d still like to show him our barn and the horses,” Jeremiah persisted. “I pretty much promised him I would.”

  Callie could tell he wasn’t going to let it go. She sighed quietly and resigned herself to one more visit from Vince. “Okay, fine, I’ll set it up with him. Maybe I can get the floors vacuumed while you two are out at the barn. I know the noise bothers you.”

  “You mean you’re going to get him out here and then ditch us?”

  “Yep. Quinn will be here. You don’t need me tagging along.” Callie hoped he’d accept that and quit pushing. Spending the afternoon with Vince Abbot was not a part of her plan for today, and she was determined not to change that.

  “That’s not very hospitable, but whatever.” Jeremiah pushed to his feet. “I’m going to my chair for a rest. Maybe I’ll even grab a quick nap. Vince can come any time after two o’clock.”

  “Okay,” Callie said a little shortly, stacking the dishes efficiently in t
he dishwasher. She’d do as Jeremiah requested and tell Vince he could come. She’d even greet him politely and get Jeremiah settled in the Gator for the ride to the barn—but then she was out of it.

  “I still think teaching him to ride would be the neighborly thing to do,” Jeremiah said over his shoulder.

  “He’s not my neighbor and it’s not gonna happen,” she replied under her breath, too quiet for him to hear. She wiped down the counter tops, then tried to think of something else to do in the kitchen so Jeremiah couldn’t nag her about coming to the barn with him and Vince.

  It wasn’t long before she started feeling bad. If Jeremiah wanted her with him while he showed off his horses, she should go along. For him. But she couldn’t. Spending time with Vince was asking for trouble, and Callie didn’t need any more chaos in her life at the moment.

  A soft gust of warm, fresh air blew in through the open kitchen door, reminding her it was a beautiful day outside. Callie walked over and leaned a shoulder against the jamb, staring out through the screen door. She wished she could drop everything, go saddle up her favorite horse, and head for the far boundaries of the ranch. There was nothing like a good, hard ride to settle the soul.

  She couldn’t leave now though, and unfortunately, thinking about riding made her thoughts circle right back to Vince, and the riding lessons he supposedly wanted.

  Was it crazy to stick to her guns and not jump all over that? Because Lord knew she was curious about where things might go if she let her guard down—of course she was. But say she did open herself up to the possibilities. What then?

  Callie was pretty certain there would be no easy, breezy, casual, friendship on her end. No, judging from the way she’d already reacted to Vince, she’d end up falling fast, and she’d fall hard.

  Then…. poof. He’d head back to Minnesota for pre-season training, and that would be that. Whatever they might have managed to build over the summer would crumble, because their worlds were just too incompatible. He couldn’t play hockey in North Dakota, and she couldn’t move her ranch to the city.

  In the end, she’d be alone and heartbroken. Maybe completely alone, if Jeremiah didn’t make it through the summer.

  Callie’s head told her in no uncertain terms that the smartest thing she could do was keep avoiding Vince Abbot. And yet, logical as that sounded, she still felt strangely vulnerable to the man. She was terribly afraid she was going to slip up and give him the opportunity to get through her defenses. If that happened, there was a good chance her heart would trump her head and she’d fall headlong into a summer romance, regardless of the consequences.

  And she’d end up broken.

  Callie turned away from the door and walked to the sink for a glass of water. Jeremiah might think her refusal to spend time with Vince made her a bad “neighbor,” but if her grandfather knew what was going on inside her head, he'd probably understand.

  Not that she was going to tell him. She didn’t want to admit to him or anyone else how taken she already was by Vince. Or how much time she’d wasted thinking about him since she’d met him two short days ago.

  Including the last ten minutes of angst. Ugh. She needed to just stop.

  Shaking off the depressing thoughts as best she could, Callie went to a cupboard and took out a jar of peanut butter and some chocolate chips. Another door yielded oatmeal and a bag of M&M’s. She needed to keep busy, and right now she didn’t think she could concentrate on the ranch bookkeeping. Instead, she’d make her grandpa’s favorite monster cookies and hope he felt well enough to enjoy them.

  Maybe she’d even send some home with Vince. Doing something so “neighborly” might make up for her refusal to go to the barn with them.

  When she had the dough mixed up and the first tray of cookies in the oven, she sat down at the table and picked up her phone. She needed to set up a time for Vince to come over, although the thought of calling him made her feel a little shaky.

  Part of her hoped he was too busy to get away today, but putting it off wasn’t the answer. Better to get it over with now, and then settle in for a couple of weeks with no more Vince Abbot sightings. Which just might be enough time to get a handle on the crazy attraction she felt for him.

  She opened their text conversation from yesterday and tapped the icon to add him as a contact. She typed his name, then just stared at it for a while. Vince Abbot. How many girls had his number? Was it something he guarded, or gave out easily?

  It felt so weird to know she could call him. One tap on the screen and she could hear his voice in her ear.

  She shivered….and sent a text instead.

  Callie: Grandpa is wondering if you might be able to come over this afternoon. He’s feeling good and would like to show you the horses, if you have time.

  She waited nervously for his reply. One and a half minutes later, her phone buzzed.

  Vince: Who is this?

  Callie couldn’t help but laugh out loud when she realized he’d mimicked her reply to his first text yesterday. So, the man had a sense of humor. Great. One more thing to draw her to him.

  Callie: Haha. Do you want to come or not?

  Vince: Yeah. It’s cool he still wants me to. Four okay?

  Callie: Four is good. I’ll tell him.

  Vince: See you then.

  Callie winced as she read that. It would be best if she could avoid seeing him altogether, but a few minutes was inevitable.

  The timer went off and she switched out the trays of cookies, inhaling the mouth-watering scent of chocolate and peanut butter. She put one on a plate and let it cool for a few minutes before taking it into the living room.

  Jeremiah was still awake, watching a rerun of a rodeo. His eyes lit up at the sight of the cookie.

  “I thought I smelled something. Monster cookies?”

  “You betcha. I thought I might be able to tempt you with one since you’re feeling better today.”

  “It actually does sound kinda good.” He accepted the plate and took a bite of the warm treat. “You’re too good to me, my girl.”

  “Impossible. You deserve way more than cookies.”

  “Did you get a hold of Vince?”

  Callie felt a childish desire to roll her eyes, but she kept her face expressionless. “Yeah. He’s coming at four. You should probably turn off the TV and snooze for a bit.”

  “As long as you promise to wake me up in plenty of time. I don’t want to be groggy when he gets here.”

  “I promise,” Callie said. “I’ll wake you no later than 3:30.”

  Jeremiah held up what remained of his cookie. “You should box some of these up for Vince. I bet he’s never had a good homemade monster cookie.”

  “I plan to,” Callie said, giving him a sharp look. She suddenly had the uneasy feeling that her grandfather’s determination to get Vince to come back over to the ranch wasn’t just so he could show off his beloved horses. Could it be Jeremiah was trying his hand at a little match-making?

  Although the thought was disconcerting, it didn’t make her angry. Quite the opposite—it almost brought her to tears. Because she knew exactly why Jeremiah would do such a thing now, when he never had before.

  He was worried about her being alone when he was gone.

  It was sweet. It was heart-breaking. And it wasn’t going to work.

  CHAPTER 7

  Vince sat on the edge of his bed to put on the cowboy boots he’d bought for his summer on the ranch. He’d only worn them once before—yesterday morning, when he’d first met the beautiful Callie Green. The boots were stiff and tight and he had to tug pretty hard to get them on, but Boone had assured him they’d loosen up and end up being the most comfortable footwear he owned.

  He worked his jeans down over the shiny leather, and he had to do some tugging there too, as slim-fitting designer jeans and cowboy boots didn’t make for the best combination. He had to remember to ask Boone where he could pick up some jeans with a wider leg.

  Next came the Stetson. He put it
on, then took it off, then put it on and left it on. Callie might think he was a poser, but he’d spent a lot of money on that hat, and if he had it, he might as well wear it.

  He walked over to the full-length mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door, grinning at the sight. Yeah, he was definitely a poser, but fake it till you make it, right? He grabbed his keys and wallet and left the cabin.

  When he’d left the rink an hour ago, Boone had given him a hard time about going back to Callie’s for the second day in a row.

  “I can’t believe Jeremiah’s okay with you coming within ten feet of his granddaughter.”

  Vince had shrugged. “I don’t know if he thought about that. He just wants to show off his horses to the city boy.”

  “He’d change his mind in a hurry if he knew you have designs on Callie,” Boone teased.

  “Then it’s a good thing I’m not going to tell him. Or her. I’m going to do what Jolene suggested—back off and see what happens.”

  Boone had given him an encouraging nod. “I think that’s wise. Callie might get skittish if you come on too strong. She’s not like Brittany.”

  “No. She’s way more cautious, and not at all star-struck, which actually appeals to me. I’d love to date a girl who sees beyond the whole pro-athlete thing.”

  “Finding a girl like that is a gift,” Boone had said, obviously speaking from experience. “Good luck, man. Oh, and good work in the rink today. I know learning how to use a sled is tough, but it’s the only way we can relate to what it’s like for the veterans.”

  Vince had groaned at the memory. Trying to balance on the type of sled used by hockey players with missing or damaged legs had been way harder than he’d expected.

  “I sucked so bad, but I’ll get it. Can’t have you showing me up.” He’d punched Boone’s shoulder with the side of his fist, then sobered. “Seriously though, Boone, what you guys are doing here is amazing. I’m really looking forward to next week when the retreat gets going.”